Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
