Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
