i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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