the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
