You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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