Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
