did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I wear drunk well.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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