I think I am morally bankrupt
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
