i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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