4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
