Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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