we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
