I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
