Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
