i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
