He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
