She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
