you have to choose: penises or morals?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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