batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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