guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
