i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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