I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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