Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize