No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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