I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
