you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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