Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
