He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
