I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I supernannyed him into submission
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
