we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
