whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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