Where is the hickey?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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