When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
