Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
