sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
