The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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