Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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