'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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