If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
