i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
