she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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