That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
