I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
