I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize