I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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