Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
