He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
