actually, I'm a sock model
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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