Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
