i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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