people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
