is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
