vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
